I knew I wanted to write something today. I'm just not
sure what. It's not so much that I wanted to write. I just haven't
been doing it lately and that is lazy and lame on my behalf. How can I
get gooder, shit...how do I get to be the goodest at something if I
don't do it more? Sure, I'm an expert mastubateur (I spelled it that
way on purpose to make it all fancy and to emphasize my advanced skill
set on the subject). Masturbators are a dime a dozen, but a
mastubateur...now that is someone that knows what he/she is doing. A
he-she is probably really skilled at masturbation, but I do not want
to write this about such a lame topic (jerking it). Plus, I need to
get the thought of a hermaphrodite masturbating out of my head. What
would Charlie Weiss do?
Charlie Weiss would probably eat, but I can't do that because I am on
a diet. Well, I wasn't before, but I am now because I typed it out so
it must be true. I think if I get healthier I will become a better
writer. It will give me more energy and a clearer head. I guess I
found my topic. Let me grab a slice of pizza before I tell you.
My topic for the day is going to be: writing. I need to do it
everyday. Kind of like masturbating, so once again, there is that lame
topic that's been beaten to death. Oh, cheap pun way intended there.
I remember being a kid and being on vacation in Alabama visiting my
grandparents. I was probably like 9 at the time. I remember having all
of this creativity and saying to myself that I wanted to write books
or movies. Hell, I think I even thought I was going to write a play
about a dragon. I'm not sure why dragons. Probably because I was 9 and
I thought dragons were cool. Nowadays, if you are 29 and you think
dragons are cool, you would more than likely get your ass kicked and
then get pissed on by a bunch of hermaphrodites.
Masturbation call back, check. Hermaphrodite call back, check. I
suppose it's time to get back to my topic. Then again, I like the fact
that I don't have to. It's artistic license. That is, if you consider
writing an art form, which I do.
I do want to become a better writer. I know that I need to be like a
lame-ass Nike slogan from the late 80's and just do it. Damn, I just
remembered that I used to own this shirt that said (it wasn't a cool
talking shirt, but I would love to corner the market on cool talking
shirts), "Just Do Me." The year was 1991. I was a freshman in High
School and they banned me from wearing it. Damn them. Damn those
people.
I guess what I like most about writing is the free-flow. Sometimes it
is nice to just type out what comes to your head. It might not make
sense to some, but it can show other readers that you are like them,
scatterbrained. It can show them that you are not afraid to just say
what you want to say, when you want to say it; even if you are saying
nothing. Sometimes you need to do that to get out of a writer's block.
I suppose this article was about me saying that I'm back, bitches. I
haven't written in awhile and I am not going to let that happen again.
I might not always have something to say, but I'm not going to let
that stop me from writing. I have DamnCrackers.com at my disposal. I
might as well use it.