I went to throw away some trash in my trash can, which is what it's for, if you try to flush beer bottles it doesn't work all that well. I have never tried this. It was just an example of how scattered my brain is. Who the fuck would flush beer bottles? That is kind of ironic in a way. The toilet is not for beer bottles, but homeless people use bottles as toilets. OK, that was totally reaching.

...Tangent...

Where was I? Oh yeah, I was throwing away some trash and I looked out my sliding glass door and saw a dead bird on the ground. The poor guy must have wanted to come hang out inside here for a bit. If he wanted in all he needed to do was knock. He didn't need to try to break and enter. I know he had his eye on some David sunflower seeds and bread I had on the kitchen counter.

I am not stingy. If the bird would have said, "Hey Gerald, can I have some seeds?" I would have gave him some. First I would have been freaked out that I had a talking bird in my house. I would have been like, "How did you know my name?" He might have said, "My brother in Michigan said that you fed him one time back in 2000." I would have said, "Oh, Joe was your brother?" He then would have gave me this weird look while he raised his beak and said, "You do realize that you are talking to a bird." I could have responded with, "Hey, you started the conversation." I would have then gave him some seeds so he would shut up because I didn't feel like talking to a cynical bird. If he started to talk to me some more I would have said, "Shut up and eat the bread, bird, you are giving me a headache."

I didn't have a chance to have this awkward chat with a bird because he was dead. He was just laying there all lifeless with a sad look on his face. Why did he do this? Did the other birds pick on him for the way that he flew?

"Hey, look at Jimi. Look at how much higher his right wing flaps than his left."

Poor guy. He flew right into the glass really fast, I imagine. One second he is laughing at the human race because he can fly and we can't, the next he is resting in the big nest in the sky.

I did not know if I should have a bird burial for lil' Jimi. I hope it's acceptable for birds to be wrapped in a couple of plastic bags and be thrown in the dumpster. I hope the other birds in Heaven don't laugh at Jimi because he was a bad flyer and didn't get a good burial ground.

R.I.P Jimi.