Damn, is it Tuesday already? It only feels like it's a day before Wednesday. Starting a word off with the W-E-D-N beginning has always seemed odd to me. I feel too lazy to look right now, but is there any other word that starts off that way? I hope not. Whoever came up with the word, Wednesday, needs to be crucified on a cross.

OK, that wasn't intended to be blasphemy, but I'll be God damned if it wasn't.

Speaking of God...It is good to see that they have elected a new Pope. Who would have thought that Catholicism would be so democratic? Wouldn't just been easier to pull a name out of a hat? That is what my parents made me do when we named my little brother. There was 2 choices. It was either Brandon or Douchebag. It is shame that my parents didn't make it a best 2 out of 3.

So this new Pope is 78 years old. Hmm, Pope John Paul II died at the tender age of 84. I understand that these guys are in good with the dude up above, but I bet they are not equally as tight with Ponce De Leon. I will be writing a new blog in a couple years when they are electing a new Pope.

This guy, Joseph Ratzinger, is from Germany. Now granted I was born in Germany as well, but not back in the heyday of Hitler. All I am trying to say to all you Catholics is watch out. If you don't have blonde hair and blue eyes you might want to start looking for a new religion.

All the Catholics could really fuck this new Pope's world up by converting to Judaism. He wouldn't know what the hell was going on. Hitler's ghost will haunt him for the rest of his time on Earth....about the next 7 months.

I am sure we will be seeing Al Sharpton bitching on TV that a black guy wasn't elected. I wish they would have elected a black Pope. I would drop my Protestant views and jump ship to Catholicism. Sure I might have to get up, kneel, get up, kneel, get up, kneel, get up , kneel, get up, kneel, get up, kneel; but I would be doing it with soul. I would be the James Brown of Catholics.