All the hack jokes I can formulate...Hmm. As I listen to this cd of various live Jack Johnson songs that I have made for myself, I stare at the 4 empty Red Bull cans I drank yesterday. Red Bull comes from Austria. I think, what the fuck else has Austria done?

Good question. Let's ask Google.

Here comes the funny.

I type in "Austria's contributions." Google, being the smart search engine that it is replies with Did you mean: Australia's contributions? Is Austria that pathetic? In short, yes. Australia produced Nicole Kidman. Austria on the other hand...Who cares?

Poor Austria.

I was planning on enlightening myself as well as the rest of you with some of Austria's greatest contributions, but since Google has decided that the country is not that important, I have no choice to agree.

Thank you Austria. Thank you for Red Bull. I appreciate the ability to stay awake for 5 1/2 days and still be able to function. But, fuck you Austria. You are a boring Country.

Maybe I am wrong. If someone can prove me otherwise I would appreciate it. I tried to learn, but Google would not let me.

Also, thank you for the numerous messages I received within minutes of saying that I am quitting smoking. Please note: Altough I may quit smoking cigs now, I did not mention anything about never smoking the CHRON once I get out of the Air Force. I have met Tommy Chong once in my life. I plan on meeting him another day.

Also, also... My W-2's are out. Time to do my taxes. Not that it matters. All money I get back goes to student loans. Fucking government. Maybe I should move to Austria. If anyone needs some help doing taxes I recommend going to http://willienelson.com for advice.

Also, also, also...Doing taxes the Willie Nelson way is not a good idea.