Jon in
a Blender . . . or something like that!
-Questions asked to blender magazine, answered by Jon Medina
Hearing
the Veronicas on the radio the other day got me wondering: who were rock &
roll's first set of twins?
Krystal Hegar, Moores Hill, Indiana
Ah,
we have been graced with so many sets of great twins throughout the years....
The Olsen's, Nelson, Michael and Garth Knight, Twin Hype, Kent Hrbek and Gary
Gaetti......Dolly Parton's breasteses, which leads me to the simple answer. I'm
pretty sure the first set of rock n' twins were Meatloaf's man boobs. His moobs.
His mits. His measts. He also inadvertently invented the wet t-shirt contest
during the recording of his epic concert album "Meatloafsweatlive". The pirate
shirt that he wore duirng that show was recently sold on ebay for 37 cents and
used as a car wash rag. Oh, how the meaty have fallen.
I know Guns N'
Roses and Motley Crue were feuding for a while in the '80's. Who started it, and
did they ever kiss and make up?
Zach Rodriguez, Las Cruces, New Mexico
I believe the feud started when Axl and the boys released "Welcome to
the Jungle", "Paradise City" and "Sweet Child O' Mine" as back-to-back-to-back
singles and the Crue did not, and realized that GN'F'N'R were far superior to
them, so Vince Neil started drinking, Tommy Lee beat up one of his dames, Mick
Mars slept for two years and Nikkie Sixx died again. The Crue did do quite an
impressive job with the Dr. Feelgood album, but by the time their foes released
"Patience", it was a wonder they didn't all spontaneously combust. Motley Crue
never did overcome the pain of knowing that Guns N' Roses made them sound like
Lita Ford, but speaking of "Kiss and make up", the boys did all have some
drinks, pizza and laughs together one night while watching Kiss perform live
sans makeup on Mtv, followed by a sweaty, pathetic man orgy, featuring the
flying of various fluids, but mostly Aqua Net. But even that fiasco wasn't
enough to completely squash this girlfight.
Call me crazy, but I
distinctly remember my old cassette copy of Madonna's Like a Prayer being
scented to smell like the inside of a church. None of my friends remember this.
What gives?
E.M. Wylie, New York City
The smell you remember was
actually the smell of roses. In her younger days, you may remember your creepy
uncle saying something like "That little number is so hot, I bet you her shit
even smells like roses." Apparently, this was a pretty popular urban legend at
the time, and the reps at Warner Bros. tapped into the hot topic and made the
first 200,000 liner notes with recycled Madonna poop paper. For a week,
Madonna's fecal matter was collected and mixed with recycled paper to add quite
a unique and personal touch for all of her die-hard fans. Although this project
was mostly a success, it is not recommended that you utelize the scratch and
sniff feature on the album cover of her latest release. We are told that the
stench is quite offensive and is even worse than the album itself, if you can
believe that.
I heard that one of my all-time favorite songs, Journey's
"Don't Stop Believin'", "was written by Randy Jackson of American Idol. Please
tell me it's true.
Terrence Fahadi, Anaheim, California
Wait a
minute....you want this to be true? What a weirdo. Why would you want to tarnish
such an amazing piece of art. Would you be ecstatic if you found out the Mona
Lisa was painted by Bob Ross? Okay, I would, too. Bad example. Would you want to
find something out like MF Grimm wrote a lot of the lyrics for Dr. Dre's Chronic
album? Okay, so that did happen, but fuck, dude. This is a true masterpiece.
Right up there with Kung Pow: The Iron Fist. How dare you, dawg, how dare you.
It is true, however that R.J. toured and played bass with Journey in 1986. What
a spectacle that must have been. He was kicked out of the band for telling Steve
Perry that he was washed up, revealing his true feelings, something he has not
done since.
DamnCrackers©2006