blender3

"Dear Superstar starring Tom Delonge and co-starring Jon Medina"
-Questions from Blender, and you can just guess who answered them.

Describe that last Blink show: What was it like backstage?

I imagine Mark Hoppus was pantsing midgets, Tom was trying to read some thick book to appear as if he was already mentally checked-out of the whole "Blink thing" and Travis Barker was sniffing glue.

What's the best lyric you've ever written, and what's the worst?

Best: "Here's a shovel, can you dig it, foo?"
Worst: "Cookin' mc's like a pound of bacon"

Is it true that you were your high school's homecoming king? Was there a crown involved?

Not true. I was probably at home watching Family Matters and wearing a crown of shame at the time.

How often do you check your myspace page?

Once daily for every heartbeat. Once for every emo teardrop I cry. Once for every time Rupert Murdoch performs the shocker on his dog, "Foxy". Once for everytime I wish I didn't like that damned Paris Hilton song. Once for everytime the Brian Jonestown Massacre releases an album. Once for every blog post by Glen the American Filipino Dream. Once for every crappy blog that's posted. Once for every time I hear Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy". So not very often, really.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

Phyllis Diller or Foie Gras. It's a toss-up.

What advice would you give young bands like Fall Out Boy or My Chemical Romance?

I have a few things:
1) Save your money.
2) Enjoy it while it lasts.
3) Stop being so catchy. I'm trying not to enjoy it.
4) Stop trying so hard.
5) Retire before the royal scam is revealed.
6) Enough with the makeup. You're not King Diamond.
7) Stop whining.
8) Be original.
9) Stop naming your bands so annoyingly.
10) Stop being awful.

Hey, Geek Boy: Who is your favorite Star Wars character and why?

I kinda like Chewy, because his style is so understated, he really digs the Big Lebowski and turned me onto that new M. Ward album, so he's got magnificent taste, he's a good listener, he's got great teeth, he enjoys quiet evenings at home in front of the fireplace, he wears that cool as fuck ammunition sash sometimes, and last but not least, he's got my back and told me that he'd rip the head off of anyone who would dare to call me "Geek Boy". Thanks, C. Bro's forever.

You're the co-proprietor of a successful clothing line. Which product endorsement did you consider but then reject?

The tripod dildo. It just wasn't practical for everyone in the marketplace. I didn't have three legs to stand on with that project. It was fucked up from the beginning.

How is your 3-year old daughter Ava most like you?

She likes gummy bears, hates Yanni and thinks Coltrane is way better than Miles. Oh, and she thinks I suck almost as bad as that Yanni character.

You campaigned for John Kerry in 2004. Do you think he should run again in 2008?

Oh good god I hope not. I wouldn't like his chances. I think too many people have already lost faith in him and would be turned off by his return on the scene. I hope he doesn't make a strong push. I'd like to see someone else take the political word by the reins and show me some real leadership qualities and take some real stands on issues that other politicians shy away from and/or don't mention at all, and right now, I can't see Kerry doing that. I could be wrong, but there must be a better option than him out there. I don't think he's the worst we could do, but I certainly think there's got to be something at least slightly stronger to go with next time around.

You're making a full-length movie to go along with your new Angels & Airwaves cd. Do you have an all-time favorite rock flick?

I was going to make fun of this question, but I must answer the question, because it's begging me to. I hope he's not seriously going to put out a movie to go with this album, though. What is he fucking Scorcese all of a sudden? So my favorite rock n' roll movie of all time is obviously This is Spinal Tap. There is none better. But The Song Remains the Same, the Who at the Isle of Wight and G.G. Allin: Hated in the Nation were all pretty entertaining. I know I'm forgetting countless others, but those were good. Beware of the G.G. Allin one, though. It's not for everyone. Kind of like Angels & Airwaves....

How "emo" are you?

"Emo" is a farce. Emo does not exist. Are you asking me if I'm "emotional". If you are then yes, I guess I'm pretty emotional. I like to laugh and cry and smile and hug and shake hands and bond and converse with like-minded individuals and I like to feel. So I guess I'm pretty "emo". Way more than that Adam Duritz fella. Go count your crows somewhere else, you dirty hippie.

What do you miss most about former Blink bandmates Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker and what do you miss the least?

Whoa, man, that's a heavy question. I, Tom Delonge, will answer you as deeply as possible, because that is totally the new me. I miss those days when I was fun and liked to have a good time. I don't remember much about it, but it was weird and stuff. I used to do all this "laughing" stuff. It hurt my mouth. The thing I miss the least is not being able to show my serious side. Angels & Airwaves is such a departure, bro. I am the next big thing. I am so emo and punk and rock n' roll and political that I transcend every other cool thing out there, but most of all, I am very deep and serious now, and I enjoy staring into space while people take badly lit photos of me standing on the beach somewhere, because that is me in a nutshell. I hope all you former Blink fans can deal with that shit. It's gonna blow your mind.

What's the most extravagant thing you ever bought with your Blink money?

Bro, I've purchased so many sick things, that I can't even keep track of it all. But I remember this one time I bought a sex swing and masturbated to videos of myself in slow motion for days on end. What a wild ride it's been.

What's the craziest thing your younger brother Shon saw while serving in Iraq?

Someone sent him a video of my sex swing antics, and I have not used it since. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I put it all behind me. Um....oh nevermind.

What size sock were you wearing in the "What's My Age Again?" video?

A Children's Extra Small.

(Okay, I don't think Tom Delonge is so bad, but it did sort of piss me off when he decided to get all high and mighty and basically said that Blink 182 was too silly and then acted like his new band was this huge departure project and that their album was some epic masterpiece, and it just came out sounding like the slower Blink songs and/or that Boxcar Racer project. Some people just take themselves too seriously at times. Have some fun, Tom. Remember all the laughs you used to have? That shit made you a millionaire. Joy and laughter can keep you running. Don't leave all the happiness behind. Give Mark a call. Tell him you love him. Everything is gonna be okay. -- DJP)

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