Our Interview With Mark Saldana
Thank you Mark for doing this interview with us.
It is my pleasure.
How did you get into comedy?
I was the 13th caller and told the DJ the phrase that pays.
How did you family handle your decision in getting into comedy?
Coming from a traditional Indian family where my mom is a doctor, she loved the idea of spending thousands on my education just to see me go tell dick jokes in Kentucky. LOVED IT!
When you made your debut on Si TV's "Latino Laff Festival" did they make a mistake and think you were a Mexican?
I seriously think they booked me because they thought I was Latino. But once I filmed it it's too late! Can't take it back! Suckers! I think 8 people get that channel anyway.
You were on Last Comic Standing, what are your feelings on getting a Red Envelope?
Good and bad. Good that I got it. Bad that they cut me by phone and I never got to experience the finals. I didn't even get to use MY Cerebal Palsy jokes.
Any good stories about one of, or all of the Comedians on that show?
I once got drunk and woke up next to Josh Blue. He's a good guy.
Besides being on Last Comic Standing, you do plenty of stand up in clubs, have you ever had a bar bill larger than what you made for the gig?
I worked with a comic once at some one nighter and it was their first week of comedy so they had no idea about anything. They told us we could eat and drink for free. So we ordered super top shelf liquor...the kind of hooch the Sultan of Brunei keeps in his cabinets. I think the bar bill was like $800. I'll never be back there.
Do you have any experiences with club managers screwing you out of money?
This chick who used to manage Jesters in Kansas City befriended me and convinced me that she booked me for some sweet paying Republican Convention gigs. I cancelled my entire first quarter and then it turned out she was lying. She also lied about having cancer. What a loony bitch.
What are the best and worst clubs you performed at, and why are they the best and worst?
It's all about a nice hotel, nice staff and good audiences. Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle is my fav club followed by this one nighter at a Holiday Inn in Prestonsburg Kentucky. No Joke. It's been around for 16 years and it's the shit. My least fav club is this one in Greensboro, NC. The hotel is the worst and the audiences were probably all suspects at one point of the Martin Luther King Assasination.
Give us your best story about being mistaken as a terrorist.
After 9/11 my buddy and I printed up these stickers that said "Fist Bin Laden" or some shit so we could sel theml for charity. Airport security went through my suitcase and found them and thought they were propaganda. I had to explain to these federal agents that I was a comic and explain what the definition of fisting was. Great moment in my life.
Do you think people can learn to do standup by reading how-to-books/workshops or are people just born to do it?
NO NO NO. Books teach you how to be a great comic....in the 80's. I took a class when I started but you learn more about the business side of it and logistics etc. Nobody can teach funny.
What's your ultimate goal in your comedy career?
Right now I'd like to be a "B" level celebrity, headline improvs all over and make a nice living. Eventually I'd like to be Seinfeld rich, buy a hockey team and never be heard from again.
Describe Gandhi in one word?
Thin.
Now describe him in 20 words or less.
Really Really
Really Really
Really Really
Really Really THIN
Mark, it's been a pleasure interviewing you. Or should I say, it has been a pleasure sending you these questions and letting you answer them in the comfort of your home where you aren't being put on the spot. Either way, thank you.
Thank you Crackers for the interview.