So today is the most depressing day of the year. At least that's what Dr. Cliff Arnall says. This so called doctor specializes in seasonal disorders and has devised a way to measure which day of the year is the most depressing, or worst day, it is as follows.

The model is: [W + (D-d)] x TQ
M x NA

The equation is broken down into seven variables: (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary, (T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failed quit attempt, (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.

What a thumb sucker. Who sits around to figure out which day of the year is the worst? I'll tell you who, people whose lives are riddled with homosexual tendencies and life crushing disasters, or in other words Dr. Phil. But Dr. Phil didn't create this mathematical disaster. A British psychologist did. How are you supposed to measure things such as motivational levels and the need to take action? It's all opinion based. But nun the less I tried to fill this out.

[overcast in the mid 40's + (15,000-2,500) x (696hours x last Monday)

mildly motivated x down with the man

subtract the 2,500, carry the 1, divide by Gary Coleman, ahhh I got it

the answer =

Boxers or briefs Screech!

15, I'm not sure which one

That equation was horseshit. The equation should go more along the lines of the following.

A + B + C

A=Time you've been kicked/hit in the nuts

B=how old is Angela Jolie

C=time you had sex with a fat chick

D=Times you had sex

1-5 = most days aren't depressing for you

5-130 = You are suicidal

130-1000 = Here's a noose

Just the notion that someone tried to create an equation for what day is most depressing pissed me off. What makes yesterday and tomorrow less depressing than today? If something does make them less depressing it isn't time since Christmas or time since failed quit attempt. Something that would make yesterday or tomorrow better than today is maybe if you broke your arm today, or just found out you impregnated Oprah.

Back to the party