When’s
the last time you’ve been at the doctors office?
Lately? When I say doctor’s office I mean a general
physician, someone who deals with everything. I was there
yesterday, still for the problems of being hit by the wall that was hit
by the lady that was on a diet that consisted of nothing with sugar . .
. and she was diabetic. Yes is sounds like that
children’s story, there was an old lady that ate a frog that ate
a mosquito that had malaria and now she is dead. I don’t
remember how it actually went. All I remember was some stupid
book that we had to watch some lady read at the library when I was 4
and parents still took their kids to the library. I remember
winning prizes for reading books, hell they had book-it club
then. They still do have it, I know, but does anyone actually do
that anymore? Man I loved those big buttons. I think I
still have one with 4 stars on it. I should finish that last book
and get my last sticker so I can get a free meal. Parents must have
loved those things, get your kid to read and not have to pay for their
meal. Fuck yeah Pizza Hut; I hope you have that shit when I have
kids. This will be never, so you guys can just stop that program
now. Maybe they should have a book-it program for adults but give
them something more lucrative, like a lap dance or pitchers of
beer. I would read then, I think I could finish “Thomas the
Train Engine” then. I would even attempt a “Hardy
Boys” book if we would get stuff like that if we
read.
Okay back the original idea of this writing spree I am going on.
Bet you are saying, “You had a main idea for
this?” The doctor’s office, that was the main
idea. Why does someone with an 8 year degree hire people that can
barely add 12+0? What is the interview like? Is there even
an interview for this position? If there was it would probably be
like this. “Can you spell your first name? Good now
can you write that on a piece of paper . . . no not on your forehead,
on a piece of paper . . . wow good! You are hired.”
Doctors probably hire people like this just so they can fuel their own
superiority complex. They are thinking, “If I surround
myself with people that can’t even answer the $100 question on
‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’, then I will look 100 times
more smarter than I am!” That is right they thought more
smarter, some doctors really sucked at English in school. Now I
am not saying all people that work for a doctor are stupid, but I would
say it is more than ½ of them. And if they are smart or at
least smart enough to tell the time on an analog clock, then they are
churlish. I was getting blood drawn the one day and when the
bitch stuck the needle into my arm she must have hit the tendon thing
that is there because that was the worst pain I’ve ever
felt. I told her about this and she just looked at me and said
nothing. Now this could have been because she was a retard and
could not understand the words I was speaking. Or it could have
been because she was trailer trash and didn’t give a fuck.
I don’t know which one it was, nor did I care. What I do
care about is having people deal with my blood/records/life that cannot
even find Waldo. Now don’t get me wrong, I know why this
is. Doctors don’t pay shit, and you get what you pay
for. When I go to a specialist I never encounter what I do at the
doctor’s office. Well I shouldn’t say never, I
don’t remember the “helpers” at the specialist as
much as I do at the doctor’s office. Probably because
they don’t jam needles into my arm hoping they hit a vein.
They actually know what they are doing. Like the Red Cross.
Every time I have given blood to them it has been smooth and
easy. Well, till later after I have given the blood and start to
drink and get totally trashed off of 5 shots. Which is another
life lesson you should learn from reading what I right? The
lesson is, give blood as much as you can and then drink afterwards,
because you can save a shit load of money that way.
On a side note, I am in a training class right now and we are learning
not to procrastinate. Like I need to be told about this.
Everyone knows not to procrastinate, just like everyone knows not to
tug on superman cap, or spit into the wind, but people still do it
anyways. The best part about this lesson on procrastination is
the “instructor” is telling us some corky story on her not
wanting to eat oysters. This is in its own way,
procrastination. If she would just cut to the chase in this story
and start “teaching” we would get the object of this lesson
over and learn a real lesson in not procrastinating.
So I am bored in this class and done with my rant. I am just
going to post some jokes I will do if I ever actually do stand up.
Here is a good one liner:
Do Black people have to wear dress socks?
Is it considered child molestation if you touched yourself when you
were a kid? Do you think child molesters started out their career
by molesting themselves when they were young?
Superman had to be the resident retard of his home planet. He had
to be. The dumbass built his palace in the middle of the north
pole. Or it could have been south, but he wasn’t a Wigger
so I don’t think he likes South Pole. Seriously what a
kryptard though. How are you supposed to take a woman back there
and get your super groove on? It’s -20 degrees on a good
day.
“Ummm . . . yeah . . . I’m sorry babe but I got mad
shrinkage right now. It actually looks like a turtle when
it’s scared. Sorry ‘bout that.”
But by that time the women is probably frozen to death. Or maybe
that is why he built in the coldest place on earth. Super man
likes to fuck frozen vagina.
