So welcome back everyone. Sorry to disappoint but there isn't a whore of the week for you. I have been busy working on a lot of other things for the site right now. But if you would like to see a new WOTW, then you need to provide us with candidates. That is, whores. I just spent time scouring through MySpace looking for the perfect whore to use for this weeks addition, but at last I could not find one worth for you, our readers. So I thought, why not have all the readers find the whores instead of just me (and the other writers) wasting our time by looking at boobs and ass and cheesy comments from MySpace losers till we find a whore that is acceptable. I will lay down some guidelines so you don't just send us every female on MySpace that shows some skin.
Guideline #1
Pictures are essential, but not just any picture will do.
For example:
This picture is whorish, but is not acceptable alone. If all pictures of the whore do not show the face, go back and search some more.
Same as with this picture
It's slutty, but this picture alone isn't enough.
A good example:
This chick is trying way too hard to be a slut. She has a stuffed animal that a 10 year old shouldn't even be playing with and she looks about 30. Now if she was just playing with this toy that even Richard Simmons wouldn't dry hump, and she had all her clothing on, it would still be a retarded picture, but it wouldn't work for what we are looking for. Find a whore with pictures like this.
Or like this
Even though she has her clothing on, this picture is still whoretastic. There is no reason to post a picture of yourself trying to blow a multi-racial vibrator. Find a whore with pictures like this.
Guideline #2
Find whorish pictures, but just one won't do.
When looking for a whore, if she has less than 6 pictures just keep moving on.
Example of what to not send us:
Though the picture is a good one, it just one picture. We need pictures, don't send us whores like this.
A good example of what to look for:
You got an array of WOTW pictures here. From left to right you have the, strip tease on the bed picture, next is the nude-partial tit but you really can't see anything except the load landing pad(aka back tattoo) picture, then there is the camel-less toe picture where you really cannot prove that this picture is her so she really could be a man, and lastly the I look innocent but my tits going to fall out of my bra picture.
Guideline #3
Information is required.
Though pictures make up about half of the whore of the week, the information on her page is a key factor. A whore could have some nasty pictures but then have nothing under her info page.
For example:
Very minimal information, there is nothing we could use here for the WOTW.
A good example of information would be:
Click here for the example of good information
Though I am not saying the example could be used for the WOTW, maybe a glamour whore of the week or something like that, but not our WOTW. She doesn't even meet guideline #1.
Guideline #4
Make sure it isn't a bot profile.
A bot profile is just a generated profile that usually has pictures that would fit Guideline #1 & #2 and could have some information but the information just sends you to some other site that they are promoting.
Example of bot profile:
There is a link sending you to see her, special pics. Which is probably just some donkey porn . . . and I am not saying that donkey porn is wrong. I am just saying that this profile is not a real persons profile. Sorry if I offended any donkey porn lovers, you guys have rights too and those rights top the rights of the donkey. I don't think donkeys want to fuck humans, well not anymore at least, since Anna Nicole Smith died. Donkeys were lining up to rape her gape.
I got off the subject there. Here is another example of what to look for in a bot profile and even if it is a real profile, don't send us ones like this.
So no blogs isn't a big deal if they have a bunch of other info, but when it is like this, a few blogs is necessary.
No friends, no problem, as long as you are sure it isn't a bot.
Kevin is on their friends list. I don't know him, but look at his hat. Don't send us whores if Kevin is their friend.
She has no info, that is a must.
No comments means she is too new. Losers on myspace will leave comments to just about anyone. She could have one picture up and it is of a pillow and some homo is going to write a comment about how he wants to dry hump that pillow. So if there are no comments, leave them alone.
Those were the main guidelines for the WOTW, and the reason I did this was so you know what to look for so that you can write the WOTW. Yes that is right. I want the audience to write the WOTW from now on. Not all of them, just some of them. Once a month I will take the best one, host it and send the writer some DamnCrackers apparel. All other entries will at least get some stickers I just ordered. If this works out I will make a cash prize on top of the DC wear. So start searching and writing because the first one I am picking will for the end of March 2007.
All entries must be as long if not longer than this article you just read.
E-mail: damncrackersradio@gmail.com