You will understand that when you see the picture of this weeks MySpace Whore of the Week, which like every week is brought to you by DamnCrackers.com and sponsored by Dat Phan . . . because we aren't even as funny as him. And that is fucking sad.
This weeks WOTW was requested by a friend, one who has graced our radio show for the past 2 weeks. So . . . we owe him this. Really we don't but he did find us a great whore. Well that "great whore" thing all depends on who you are. She might be hard on the eyes, but hey, if you are ever in a plane crash in the middle of the alps and you decide you are going to eat one of the recently deceased, she would be the perfect candidate.
I present,
Baby Girl
*WARNING DO NOT PASS THIS POINT IF FLAPS ON FLAPS OF FAT MAKE YOU QUEEZY*
You do that Doggy. But remember I warned you.
I now present to you a picture of "Baby Girl."
That is fucking nasty. Oh my God that is wrong.
I had to put some space in there so I didn't have to stare at that while I was typing. Damn, I should have listened to my own warning and just stopped writing this at that point, but noooooo. I had to brave on for you guys. Which brings me to a point I have been wanted to make, I hate you.
Okay so let us move past our hate for each other and talk about this WOTW. What better way to do that than to use some of her info. I ate your baby girl writes, "I am a BBW model and aspiring adult film producer for web." What is she? A Big Black Women? A Barge of Bar-b-que wings? A Bad Blue Wanker? A Fat Disgusting Whore Who Needs To Keep Her Ugly Butt Roles Off Of MySpace? I don't know what she means, so you guys just think whatever you want there, but I think my last guess is the correct one.
Ass Blaster continues with, "I AM HERE FOR NETWORKING AND MARKETING FOR MY ADULT PAY WEBSITE COMING SOON www.thekandishop.com " Well no shit you are here for your pay site, because everyone knows what you have is a commodity and people are willing to pay for that shit.
Seriously this whore needs to get a fucking clue. You can walk into a bar any night of the week and find a fatty like this who would be happy to go home with you for 2 shots of tequila and a bed that won't break if she puts half of a leg on it. And hell even if it would break, as long as your floor capacity is rated at 2000lbs and over she'll take the 30 minutes to take those tight piggy jeans off to fuck your fat roll loving meat stick.
Seriously all tubby s have those pants that take them longer to get into than to wash.
She is showing that to you right here. Though right after the picture was taken she tried to pull herself back up using the door frame and collapsed the house.
The lardinator tells us, "I LOVE YOUNG BLACK SEXY MEN. I DOUBT VERY SERIOUSLY THAT MR RIGHT IS ON MYSPACE SO FOR NOW LETS JUST BE MYSPACE FRIENDS :)" Okay, I could pull out a stereotype here and say something like, "You love young Black men for one reason, and that is for their quick wits and ability to advance in the work force." But instead I stay away from stereotypes and say, "You only say you like Black men because they love big white asses and you know no White dude is going anywhere close to that fat ass."
First off, why does she have semi-professional pictures of that nastiness? Second, why are those semi-professional pictures of her trying to take a shit on a leopard she just jumped on and smashed?
Yeah no shit, "thanks to H2." You should be praising that man, well I am guessing that H2 is a man, could be a vehicle I guess. Because you know she needs a flat bed truck to take her anywhere she needs to go. But back to thanking H2, he made you actually look skinny. Which by seeing your previous pictures is a feat.
Babies = breakfast tells us in her interests section,
. She then went on to say that it was because he left her 300 sq ft womb and made it through the wall of fat rolls.Click here
Thank you for everyone that reads. I am out. Not gay out, just done. But after looking at her while doing this article . . . no I am still straight and always will be. She does make me want to start a program called, "sponsor a fat person." It involves raising enough money how ever you can to send them to Nigeria but not enough to come home.
DamnCrackers©2006