You know what I love? Let me give you a chance to guess (R.I.P Mitch Hedberg)... Are you done guessing yet? Ok, fuck you. Time's up. I love when the whore of the week practically writes itself. That has never been so prevalent than it is with Katie.
Katie
This little vixen resides in Sharon, Pennsylvania. She is 20 years old which means that she has many years of whoring to go. That is assuming that she is a she. Katie states in her "about me" section that she only has one guy friend on her list. That probably means that she is that one guy and he is just using "Katie" as means of talking to other guys that are using the very same ruse. So in essence, the are 2 guys masturbating to 2 fake women. For the sake of "whore of the week" purposes we will just assume that Katie is indeed a real girl. Although, that may be difficult because if you look closely at this picture it looks like she has a mustache.
Maybe she just had some hot wax on her face when she went down on one of her "gurls." Note: She doesn't say "gurls" anywhere in her profile, but most whores spell it that way. We will assume it is in there since we are pretending that this is a real girl and not some 20 year old douche named Chaz.
Katie filled out a "Naughty Poll." That sounds funny; naughty poll. Hey, you wanna fill out my naughty poll and then slide down my naughty pole? That was lame, I know. You all can talk shit about it while we are at a strip club watching "gurls" dance around the naughty pole.
1. How old are you?
18-20 (Pick an age and stick with it. You can't be 3 years.)
2. What is your sexual orientation?
Bisexual (Most whores are. It increases the sex pool.)
3. Have you ever given somone oral sex?
Sure I have (She says ever so adamantly.)
4. Have you ever received oral sex?
Yes, of course (Of course! Of course!! Of course!!!)
5. How many sexual partners have you had? 1-5 ( I think she hit the - key on accident instead of the 0.)
6. What is your pubic hair style?
Shaved bald, nice and clean (So she made all her crabs homeless. Mean bitch.)
7. What is your choice of underwear style?
Thong (Really? I was guessing commando.)
8. Have you ever had anal sex?
Sort of tried to (Don't worry. Soon enough one of your "gurls" will ram a dildo in your ass while another one of your "gurls" is fucking you with a strap on. It's inevitable.)
9. What is your favorite position?
Anything that gets me off (She might has well of just answered "YES" to this question.)
10. How often do you masturbate?
Once a day (Well maybe I am the whore then. I'm not saying that I masturbate a lot, but if masturbation was Monopoly I'd have hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place. I'd still finish 2nd place in a beauty contest though.)
11. Have you ever kissed a girl?
Yes, for sure (Like totally. For sure. Oh my God.)
12. Have you ever had sex with a girl?
Yes, I sure have (How about more than one? What, wait until question 14?)
13. Have you ever taken, or been in naked photos?
Both taken and been in them (No surprise there.)
14. Have you ever had multiple partners at once?
Yes, a foursome (Her answer. Nothing that I made up.)
15. Have you watched porn?
Yes, and I own some of my own (Once again. All her.)
16. Have you ever been to a nude beach or nudist area?
Yes, a nude beach (One day I will open up a nude all you can eat buffet. I bet she would even go to that. She might run into Andy Reid. How do you feel about that, Andy?)
17. Have you ever watched others, or been watched having sex?
Both watched others and been watched (At the same time even.)
18. Spit or swallow?
Facial (Oh baby! The perfect answer. I still think she isn't telling the total truth though. I bet she wears it and has Chaz lick it off her face. Since she is probably Chaz it would mean that Chaz has a tongue longer than Gene Simmons)
"Come here Chaz/ Katie"
19. Have you ever had an orgasm?
Of course, all of the time (Like "all day and all night" all the time? Wow! Sign me up.)
20. Do you own any sex toys?
Nope, none for me (Liar, liar, pants on fire--- from the numerous STDs not because of the lying.)
One of Katie's general interest is pictured below. After I looked at it I was like, WOW she is so smart, I never though of just voting world problems away. So I made my own voting button. It's after her's about terrorism, please click to vote!
Drunk out the ass??? That's pretty damn drunk. I suppose it's better than being drunk in the ass. If you were drunk in the ass ,the people that showed you how to use a beer bong were totally fucking with you.
And that moment is known as every second of this whores life.
-Gerald Young
DamnCrackers©2006
