Well this week we have a guest writer.  Her name is Shannon and she gives good blow jobs.  Oh you though she is the guest writer because we like her?  Nope . . . she gives good head, that is about it.  Oh and so you don't try and sue me, I am kiding.  Shannon is a very funny friend of ours and wanted to write the WOTW.  We (meaning I) decided that it would be nice to have a female write the WOTW for once and since Shannon is talented with her lips we thought that she would be a perfect writer for this weeks whore . . . so here it is.
-Derrick
 
 
Whores, whores, whores . . . Oh how we love thee. The men love them, and the women love to hate on them. Granted, the women who hate on whores, usually are whores.  Because . . . well, women are whores. I'm a woman, but fuck, bitches is crazy, and women are whores. Women hate other women.  Don't fucking lie to yourself bitch, you know better, you hate me because I'm hotter and pull better, hotter dick than you.  I hate you because you sucked my boyfriends cock, or vice versa, it's all relative when it comes to bitches.  I don't care who stuck whose thumb in whose ass, you're a whore.  So, who better to narrate WOTW than ME
Shannon

ANYWHO, I will do, as any of these whores do, and get on it already. Introducing . . . well I'm guessing her name is Kasey, being that where your "name" is supposed to be it say, "My Kasey is a centerfold", however, as this is my first go at WOTW, I feel that I should follow good examples, and give her a DC reference name. Being that she's got a thing for 80's hair bands, we will call her SkidMark.

It's true, she really is a centerfold, right in the center of my PetSmart sale paper on Sunday.  This pup was on the full page add for Eukenuba Large Breed. Ironically in this SAME position.   Derrick has a picture of SkidMark in this position too, only he's standing behind her naked with a bloody hammer in his hand, and a belt tied around her neck.   Assume what you will... but he's a bit of a sadist.

ANYWAY, about SkidMark. Her story begins on Maury. Yep, Maury fucking Povich. I'm sure you've seen the "Geek to Chic" episodes where these people are fuckwads in school, and get swirlies, and assraped by the football team daily.  Then they grow up and think that they are something awesome.  She was one of these pigs! The birth of SkidMark went as follows . . . She had a crush on this fucking dickbag, and they brought him on stage, asked him, do you remember SkidMark?  She looked like this in high school . . . 

He immediately cringed in fear.   They proceeded to ask SkidMark to reveal what she looks like now . . . 
 

When she came on stage, the douchebag punched her in the face and said, "Dude, I've been telling you since the 5th grade, I'm NOT GAY!!!" and walked off.   SkidMark followed Crying and flailing his arms yelling "but DAVE, I swear, I don't have a penis anymore!!! I LOVE you!!!" She then became known as the tranny who got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT. SkidMark would eventually be happy about the punch, because he could now get the Janet Jackson nose he always wanted. Howard Stern loves trannies, she got naked on his show a few times and for reasons unknown to man, made it into PLAYBOY and has a current weekly spot on PLAYBOY RADIO. Now this brings 4 words to mind. "WHAT THE FUCK HEFF??" That old bastard is finally fucking going blind. During an interview Hugh said "She looked better when I was peeing on her." I hear he's a big golden shower fan.

Onto SkidMark's interests. I quote directly from her page, "I have been inspired by Wonder Woman my entire life. I used to spin around in my WW Underoos forcing people to tell the truth, and trying to show everyone that I really did have Goddess-like strength. Not much has changed since those days... ;)"

 
So Andy?  You'd hit it?
 
 
 
Andy you do love eatin' them whores, don't you. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I am amazed there isn't a dog in this picture. 
 Doesn't it look like she is trying to get into pants that were probably bought in the childrens section?
 
 
 
 
She's into comic books and gaming. You think I'm saying this to be funny, but LOOK at this bitches profile.   She butt plug's to Wonder Woman, only wears Superman panties, and likes to bang dudes while they wear Pokemon costumes. No lie. Heff said she paid HIM to do it once.

She was once arrested in the mall for attaching a strap-on to one of those fake rubber zombies, and making love to it in the middle of Spencer Gifts. Swear to god.

She also reads alot, and LOVES to read "The Zombie Survival Guide" WHO DOESN'T? We must prepare for the time when the HIV and West Nile make babies inside rotting corpses and makes them come alive and eat whores and farm animals, don't you think? To quote her BOOKS section "I read CONSTANTLY!! Almost exclusively non-fiction, though...I love to learn!! (because I'm a dork, remember? ;)."  New concept here . . . are you ready . .  . reading NON-fiction to LEARN. Huh, must be a transsexual dorky whore thing. She's also VERY much against censorship.

Since she can't show her titties she has decided that pics of her pimple filled ass are better.

BUT being hypocritical, as most WHORES are, SkidMark says she's quite shy and insecure.   If by shy and insecure, she means enjoys gang-bangs and facials, then yes, she is just that. SkidMark, you dumb, penis-tucked whore.

 

If you're interested, SkidMark would love to meet (from her WHO ID LIKE TO MEET) section, "People who think for themselves, and who aren't afraid to stand up and shout to the world, "LOOK, YO!!! I'M DIFFERENT FROM YOU!! YOU GOTS A PROB W/DAT, BEYOTCH?!!" How cute, even through being a comic loving, zombie banging, wonder woman plugging, Pokemon sucking, anti-censorship transsexual whore, she's still trying to show love to the "CRUNK" girls, as I call them. How sweet. Whore. SkidMark also says that these Ethiopian kids own her heart.

Is this kid giving the "X". 
 "X gon' give it to ya,He gon' give it to ya." 
No don't get your hopes up.  DMX isn't going to give you food or a house or even a pack of condoms so you don't end up with 13 more brothers and sisters.  All he's gon' give ya is another shitty album with 16 tracks that sound the same. 

 

 

That's all about SkidMark. We hope she's captured your heart, like she has Doggy's erections. Also, I hope you've enjoyed Shannon's first go at WOTW!!! If so, tell Derrick that I'm awesome, and deserve a section of damncrackers.com!! XOXO love

 
 
Well people, there you have it. Thank you for reading the WOTW on DamnCrackers.com.  Please take a moment to fill out this survey we have provided for you.
 
-Andy Reid pictures were created by Derrick
 
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