Hello everyone and welcome to another special guest edition of Whore of the Week. I'm Superdirty® but you can call me 'dirty. I'm the co-host of an internet radio show on DefCon Comedy Network called Sunday Services. We're vile, vulgar and completely uncensored yet people tune in anyway. If you'd like to find out more about the show you can check out our Myspace page.Yes, I'm whoring us out but can you think of a better way to start off the WOTW than to whore myself? At Sunday Services we've been showing whores our special kind of loving for a while now so when I stumbled upon Gerald Justin Spunkenmeyer and NGBDerrick it was love at first sight. It was what some may call a match made in heaven but I don't know about that since we probably have a VIP section reserved in hell just waiting for us...

Since we all love whores so much I decided to give everyone a special treat this week. I've prepared not ONE but TWO whores for you! It's like the BOGO sales at your local grocery store and you know you can never miss those. Stock up now on these sluts because they're going fast! I don't know about you but I just can't get enough of these lovely ladies on Myspace. It's like watching a trainwreck. No matter how disturbing you just can't help but gawk and stare at them. Pointing and laughing is fun too. So because I've been invited to be a special guest I thought it would be fun to go all out. Three whores for the price of one and I even went so far as to hire a talented one man electrical band that goes by the name of Nomad to sing you a song.

Wanna hear it?

Here it go...

So I stripped down to nothing and said "yeah, I'll work it all night for you!"

Jesus CHRIST, that was awful! I want my money back you no good for nothing but cock sucking blind faggot. You're FIRED! I truly apologize for that kiddies. Really, he said he was great with his mouth and I assumed he meant he could sing. I thought that those milky eyes were just from his handicrippleness but I guess it was just the remnants of that last load he took. Oh well, better luck next time I suppose... And now, without any further adieu, I bring you the first of this week's whores. This one is a special one because she was a last minute nomination. She used to be Infinity33005* but now she's just "Curious." Lord knows what she has left to be curious about because from what my infamous inside sources say this skank is "not fit for human consumption."**

** Please note, due to the advice of my legal team it is best we don't expose the whole truth here.

Sorry darling but some things just don't come clean with soap and water...

Damn, you know she must be one helluva nasty whore when I actually find myself agreeing with Pat Robertson. Scary man...

Aww, what's the matter? You look like you're ready to cry. Was what I said too mean and hurtful for you or was it that you just received the results of your latest trip to the free clinic? Did you expect us to clap in honor of your accomplishments? *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* Sorry, I can't tonight. Your boyfriend took the truck. Maybe later once you get your kid from daycare we can meet up. Would that make you feel better baby? So, what else should we know about "Curious?" Let's see, her profile says she has 203 "friends." As if a slut like this makes friends! The only thing she makes is the baby jeebus cry. She also claims her occupation is "Artistic Dancer" (bahahahaha!) but dreams of being in Hustler one day... 'cause, you know- what "artistic" person doesn't have dreams to be photographed while every gaping hole in her body is filled with man milk.

What a bunch of douchebags in this picture! We've got Mr. "Me So Gangsta 'cause I'm West Coast G" to the far left and lord only knows what the whiskey tango foxtrot the guy on the far right is doing. Was it "Take a Retard to the Strip Club" night or something? Nevermind, I truly don't want to know.

Now I've studied this picture closely for nearly a week and I'll be damned if I can find anything remotely resembling art going on in it. Wait- Hustler? Okay look, if you consider yourself an "artist" I could rationalize appearing in Playboy. Those are classy whores in there but Hustler? Hustler?? Honey, they should just take your child from you now. Save it the misery of having to find out what a WHORE his mother really is! Enough with that one. If I spend anymore time thinking about her I'll probably puke all over my keyboard and I respect my laptop way too much to do that.

Oh great now Andy Reid is talking in the third person and eating puke. Well we all knew it was going to come to this, it's no surprise.

Our second winner this week hails from the sunny west coast state of California . Meet Miss ihvbrains2.

Interesting... I don't see any brains there. Let's re-adjust our magical pic-o-matic machine and see if we can find them.

Ah, so much better. Now that we have verified the existence of said brains let's find out more about our west coast delight. First thing to notice when visiting her page is her quote, "Too big is not big enough for me." Now it is easy to assume that she is talking about big black cocks with pearly white cum but remember, she has brains too so I'm sure she's talking about wanting me a man with big brains. The interesting thing to note is that this whore is straight. We all know what that means... she's just in denial. Everyone knows that whores don't care who is shoving something in their "tunnel of love."

Miz thang has high hopes for a bright future too. While her aspirations don't quite match our third place winner they are quite admirable just the same. Here's a glimpse into what she wants for her future, "I enjoy working out and boxing... One day if I'm unfortunate enough to marry a wife beater, I hope to atleast get one good punch in and then take the rest like a man." Well, it's good to know she doesn't want to take the white trash path in life but who the hell spends time thinking about the what-if's of spousal abuse. Sure, it's smart to plan ahead but I think this girl scout is taking it a bit too far... or is that boy scout since she wants to take it like a man. Is that her way of saying that she enjoys the buttsecks?

Wow, she's so deep. I feel so much smarter now that I've taken the time to read her blog. Her post script was incredibly enlightening too. It's good to know these things and I've definitely filed those words of wisdom for future reference. My mind is blown away by her brilliance. She apparently doesn't care for guys who message her to tell her "nice brains" but at least she accepts personal responsibility for it... "I've brought this on myself by the pictures I have chosen BUT what brought unoriginality and turrets syndrome type stupidity on you???" Sure, she tries to turn it back around on the guy but she does accept more responsibility than the common whore does. Maybe there is hope for this one yet? Only time will tell...

Oh well, that didn't take long. Once again we've met another hopeless whore. I'm guessing it is only a matter of time before she's embarrasing her poor kid like the first whore. Basic statistics tell you that it is only a matter of time before all those gooey gobs of white lightning swimming their way up her bottemless pit of a cunt ends up becoming another future abortion (if it is lucky!)

Thanks for sticking with me on this wonderful journey into the Whores of Myspace. If they'll have me back again I already have another one lined up for you. So, if you'd like to see me guest write again be sure to tell those Damn Crackers that you want more 'dirty. Don't forget- if you don't think we're funny it is probably because we're laughing at you.